Navigating the challenges of adolescence can be overwhelming for any teen, but the addition of grief due to the loss of a loved one can make it even more difficult. For parents, guardians, and family members, understanding how to support a grieving teenager requires empathy, patience, and awareness. This article draws on insights from the Heartworks grief support newsletter to provide guidance on supporting a grieving teen during this confusing and painful time.
Every teen grieves differently, just as every adult does. There is no one right way to process loss, and it’s essential to validate the unique ways in which teens experience grief. Hormonal changes, academic and social pressures, and identity formation are already part of a teen’s life; adding grief on top of these can amplify stress and confusion. Let teens know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, or angry. Simply being there and acknowledging their emotions is a powerful step in supporting them.
Grief requires a significant amount of physical and emotional energy. It is not uncommon for teens to feel exhausted or to need to step back from some of their daily activities, schoolwork, or social engagements. Encourage them to take the time they need and help them find a balance between their responsibilities and the space they need to heal. Be mindful of their energy levels and remind them that it’s okay to say “no” or take a break when needed.
Teens often struggle with understanding and expressing intense emotions, and the grief journey can be fraught with anger, guilt, or regret. Finding healthy outlets for these feelings is crucial. Help your teen identify activities that allow them to express their emotions constructively—this might include creative outlets such as writing, art, or music, or physical outlets like sports or yoga. Consider joining them in these activities to show your support.
Grieving teens may feel isolated or as though no one understands what they’re going through. While they might not always want to talk to family members, they may find comfort in talking to peers who have had similar experiences. Look for local grief support groups, such as Heartworks, that provide a safe space for teens to connect with others who understand their journey. Group settings often help teens feel validated and less alone.
Many teenagers value their privacy, and grief is no exception. Teens might be reluctant to share their emotions with family members and might feel more comfortable talking with friends. Understand that this is a normal part of adolescent development and not necessarily a sign that they’re shutting you out. Let them know you’re available when they’re ready and respect their need for space.
The loss of a loved one can shake a teen’s developing sense of identity. They might ask themselves questions like, “Am I still Daddy’s girl?” or “I’m the kid whose Mom died.” Helping your teen find meaningful ways to remember and integrate their lost loved one into their life can be a healing step. This might be through creating a memory book, participating in an event that honors their loved one, or simply talking about favorite memories.
You don’t need to have all the answers or know exactly what to say. Sometimes, the best way to support a grieving teen is by being present and willing to listen. Treat their feelings and questions with respect, and avoid trying to “fix” their pain. It’s natural to want to take away their hurt, but the only way through grief is to walk through it. Offering a caring presence can mean more to them than any words of advice.
If your teen is struggling to cope with their grief, consider seeking additional support. Heartworks offers grief support groups for children, teens, and their families, providing a structured environment where teens can express themselves, connect with others, and learn coping strategies. If you feel that your teen’s grief is affecting their daily life, it may be beneficial to speak with a counselor or therapist specializing in adolescent grief.
Grief is a journey that no one should have to walk alone. By offering support, understanding, and a safe space to express emotions, you can help your teen navigate this difficult time and find their way to healing. For more information about Heartworks grief support services, please visit UPMC Heartworks or call 570-320-7691.
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